Meat and Potato Pie

Right so I've made a revision timetable that I'm pretty definitely sure I'm not going to stick to.
I am so behind on work now, I need to really get stuck in. But it's pretty difficult with so many distractions around.

Going home for christmas next weekend! That'll be so strange losing my independance and my flatmates. Though, I can't wait to spend a bit of time with my friends back home, especially K, D and H. It'll be like old times. I'm really worried for my friend D, she's so lonely at the moment- I can tell. I want to be with her and just talk to her like we could a long time ago, but she doesn't really open up anymore. She sent me a lovely message on facebook though, so maybe I could try when I'm home?

Got to buy some christmas presents! How very exciting. But what to buy everyone?Well I've already decided for my sister K and mum, I'm going to make them some handmade photo albums from this year! Then get them something else as well alongside. Going to give my bro J a photo album of his 18th (he hasn't seen the photos yet) and then something really nice, as I still owe him an 18th present! Me and J are going to get dad a guitar pedal he's after... but what do I get my big bro T and fiance J?! Impossible. Also, A?! What does a boyfriend need? And at this stage in a relationship too.. how much am I supposed to spend? The worries. Still, it's all on Natwest this year. Uhoh..

So how's it going with A? Still well, no complaints in paradise. Only thing is that the more I can chat with H, the more I find it harder to talk to A. I mean about important things. Maybe it's because we've both got pretty normal backgrounds there's nothing to say, whereas H opened up his heart to me unexpectantly in Macdonalds of all places... which was sweet.. about all the things going on in his life. I can't explain it. Maybe I'm just pulling at loose thread.

I made 4 meat and potato pies. Deliriously happy.

Clover xxx

Tuna Pasta & Harry Potter

So you'll be pleased to know in the end I opted for leftover Tuna Pasta. Beautiful. Then I made tacos yesterday with yes... real mince.

So on Monday after my Tuna Pasta dish I headed down the library with H. I was a little bit nervous about it to be honest, as we'd only actually hung out once, but it was actually surprisingly fun. We mainly indulged in Harry Potter games online instead of doing our notes for hours, but it was worth it. You'd be surprised how addictive guessing the last names of the characters is... Then we bowled home, got some chips and sat on the curb to eat them, then he walked me back home. I know what you're thinking, it's what all my flatmates assumed too.. but no, H is simply my friend. He is a nice guy, refreshing to hang out with, but I'm completely into A, and I think I will be for a very long time!

Still I was completely aware A was upset that I'd gone to the library with H, and I ignored that. Which was harsh. Thing is, it's relationship politics (or so I thought....). Basically, he hadn't replied to my texts for hours all day when he said he was just popping to the gym for about an hour. So it turned out he went to Cambridge shopping with a girl called Kym. That, I really didn't mind at all, she's his friend- but I was a little bit annoyed about the way he shrugged off my texts... he was acting really unlike him. So, I shrugged off his annoyance equally. Yet then he later sent me a text later saying he was sorry, and he loved me, he'd just been a bit stressed... Yep, his grandad had only gone and been taken to hospital. Which is where he was most the day. Which is why he didn't reply to my texts. Oops. So I felt like a very horrible person then. It also made me realise what an amazing boyfriend I've got, to text ME and apologise to ME!

Then on Tuesday, having woken up to the wonderful gift of a parcel delivered to me by my mum, with an advent calender inside, the morning started excellently... despite the fact that I've completely fallen into my wonderful routine of not waking up and not going to sleep and thus... not going to lectures. I also have decided that my overdraft is for spending, so have consequently dived headfirst into it. Which in retrospect isn't exactly ideal with christmas coming up.

So after completing my essay, I was happily settled in for an inexpensive, cuddly night with a classic film with my flatmates. However, my flatmates had other plans. They all decided that Tuesday Club was a must, and as I am me- I just couldn't resist. Noone wants to be left out! Plus a cuddly film night just didn't sound as good with just myself as company.

We all got ready, vodka-ed up and headed out to purchase our £8.50 tickets ( thank you Natwest ) and drink away the night. And that is exactly what we did. It was a good night, if not a little odd. A couple of unexpected things were said and done, but all in all- everyone was really drunk! I'm so pleased for my stunning flatmate S. She has such low confidence, and the girl is absolutely beautiful. And obviously it showed. The alcohol gave her the confidence she so desperately needs, and guys came flocking! My other flatmates, who don't do drugs, C & R spent the night looking for meth. God knows why! Their adventure was cut short though when they were unable to obtain the object of their desires. So instead we settled for chips. Best kind of drug if you ask me!


Despite the late night adventure... we were up by 8am for our lecture. So a successful story all in all.

Now it's 3pm, and I'm going to watch aimless tv and sleep.

Life is officially good.

Love, Clover x

Tinned mince

I'm a little bewildered as to why I'm blogging, seeing as I've published it nowhere that I am, and I think it's set on private.

Still, lets not pretend I have a busy life to attend to... I'm currently lieing in the horizontal position where I have been most of the day. Where did it go so wrong?!

Well, my room is a state. Basically to get out of bed, would mean to tidy this pit, and it's something that I fear I cannot do. Also, whilst at Uni I've turned into a cup-thief. I've not had the ability to get out of bed and tidy my room, but I have counted the cups I've collected. 16.

Ironically, I walked into the kitchen earlier and vented my frustration at the lack of cups. Maybe my next loan would be well spent on a personal cleaner?

So in an attempt to make sure this day is slightly productive at least, I'm considering attending the library with H later. As we've both been kicking back on Facebook- willing something to change, maybe the IC will persuade us that working is the way forward. Plus, if nothing else - our hot water is down and the IC has free showers. What's not to love? I'm still unsure on how to withdraw a book there, but getting clued up on how to use the hot water? I'm definitely willing to give it a shot.

Currently I'm cradling a tin of mince. Mince in a tin. Is this what I'm succumbing to? I'm overdrawn... but am I at tinned mince? I've read the reviews on Google, they're not pretty. But with pasta, how bad can it be? It must be edible, else they wouldn't have sold it. Although, a candle is edible, so I guess it says nothing for the taste.

Right. It's time to rise. I've left it long enough. The day started so well, how did it get to 5:30?

Clover x x x

A quick overview...

So I've just remembered I have a blog. To be honest, the whole `blogging` and `tweeting` concept seems a bit strange to me. All I ever have to report is my ability to talk about and consume food on a regular basis... which I think is why my occasional tweets about wotsits aren't that well recieved.

So here I am at university.

Three mobile telesales has come and gone- with alot of drama in it's wake and now I'm approaching christmas time in Sheffield!

So how has University gone? Well I've never felt more at home. My flatmates are incredible and I felt like I've known them forever, both the boys and the girls... so as a result we've paid down our deposit on a house for nine of us next year with the other girls (fingers crossed) living close by.

Going out has drained my bank balance and I've lost my ability to sit and study... but I can't help and be nothing but chilled out! Yes, I've been momentarily stressed here and there, but not often.

One of these stresses being that I went back out with S when working for 3, which was in retrospect a bad decision and we have inevitably split come university. But I'm okay with that. My Scottish Ellen bought me some Icecream to help me mourn, and I discovered that when I want, I can be pretty good at not let things bring me down.

S was not the boyfriend I have always wanted, just one to fill the time. We used to have a spark between us that gave us the ability to talk for hours and just give each other everything we had. But we lost that a long time ago. Returning to him, was returning to something that was comfortable and easy- where I didn't have to worry about being single, and lonely.

I can see now, that you should never have to put up for something that is less than amazing. People consistently critisise younger people and their relationships because alot of the issues and arguments seem trivial and pointless, and older, wiser people offer their expertise at regular intervals- always assuring that when you are `older` things will be that much more simple.

Yet every second I am living is as important as the next. So why shouldn't you be the happiest you can be with somebody? Why do you have to dismiss a relationship as unimportant because you are 19 as opposed to 29? You are still spending your life with somebody.

As such, I met A a few weeks later, and although it took me a couple of days to realise... I felt just this feeling of happiness. I literally am so happy. I can't explain it any other way. I just knew, within a week that this was somebody I definitely loved. I can't fault it. I don't want to go through his phone, or facebook, or ask about who he's friends with or going out with... why would I? I just know I can trust him and that's good enough for me. Already I'm worrying about the inevitable arguments, but why?!

I worry because everyone bar B has cheated in some way and that can really make you step back and look at what you are doing wrong. When someone cheats... it destroys a little part of your confidence and trust in other people. And that's so hard to build back up.

I'm not saying A would never cheat because maybe he will, but I know that right now, I trust him and I am... despite the very biggest sarcastic critic in side of me... happily in love. Which, I will not admit to anybody I don't think!

Anyway, I've summed life up in a very short way, but that's what happens when you leave things for so long!

Since I last posted, my last Grandad died. It's hard to accept that, and it's probably the saddest thing I've ever had happen. To be perfectly honest, I feel I am completely responsible and that there was so much I could've done to stop him dieing. My whole family was away, and I was the only one around to go and see him at first. He was fine to go on the first day, and then he got worse and wasn't eating... I just guess it's hard to accept he was shutting down when he seemed so alive. Reliving it wont help, but I feel sorry every day for not having had done more. At his funeral, I was just consumed by guilt. He was the sweetest, funniest old man you could ever to have wished to have met, and to have him over for christmas would just complete everything. But, this is life, and I am just thankful he was ever here to give us as many good times and laughs as he could. Very strange to think I have no grandparents left now though!

A few other things:
- I have my nose pierced. I am very aware of it still when considering older people, so can't wait to get a smaller more discrete stud.
- My vows of being tidier and more organised are not going as planned... but I guess I will just accept that this is me, I'm never going to be like my flatmate Caroline, and you just have to love yourself the way you are!
- Me and S don't even speak anymore. This is sad, because I wish we had the ability to just be friends. I'm happy he's happy, but I wish he would sort his life out and quit drugs and actually work towards the police- and it's sad that I don't think that's ever going to happen.
- Christmas is coming up and I am firmly in my overdraft! Still, if you can't get overdrawn at christmas- when can you? It truly is my favourite season.
- I can't wait to see all my friends back for christmas, and my family definitely! But I will miss F2 so much it's untrue, how will we cope for so long? I care so much for all of them and I hate being away. Sad, but true!
- Journalism is going well... shorthand, not so much, but we're getting there slowly. It's great to have my flatmate Sarah in all of my modules, the little cutiepie, and we are getting there bit by bit! I think we have a nice balance going on at the moment, even if it's not entirely work- orientated!
- Finally getting to grips with a bit of current affairs. So I'm never going to be hot to trot on politics, but something out there will work for me!

So I've blogged!

Love, Megs. x x x

Facebook, Israel and Aeros.

Right, I'm not going to lie to you. I had to make this blog. The simple reality is- there's only so many times I can change my facebook status without looking desperate for people to acknowledge my life. It got to the point this evening where my status actually changed twice in 5 minutes:
Megan is currently eating a Porkpie and wondering what move to make next...
Megan has recollected the fact she hates Porkpies.



The whole thing screams desperation.



Therefore, now people have the option to read about my wild, pork-pie eating lifestyle, without having it banded around their home page. Besides, Facebook has become dangerous for me. I once proudly stated I had 900 friends. Then a rap video mysteriously appeared from the depths of my past upon my homepage. Needless to say, reputation suffered.



So, here begins my `blogging`. I have no real idea of what depths I'm supposed to go into here. Some people reveal every single life detail- however sordid. Now, whilst that may be interesting to read for others, it does your private life no favours, so I think I'll stick to the basics of my day.



A few hours ago, I entered an Israel/Palestine debate. Now, I know nothing about nor care for Politics at all. For someone who is going on to study Journalism- you may indefinitely consider that a bad thing. However, in my opinion the World for me is still a relatively nice place to live, and in some respects, I'd like it to stay that way. Plus, I will never know everything about anything, so how can I possibly form an opinion on it? I'd like to remain unbiased wherever possible. I will never know the ins and out of Israel or Palestine, their reasonings for hating each other, understanding their culture, the corruption with in... the difference between what is true and what is merely propaganda absorbed by those who remain truly loyal to their country. Therefore, I do not know any better than to suggest that my only opinion I can offer is that of the liberal suggestion of merely being at peace with one another. It's not that I'm naive, or stupid, its that its all that makes sense to me as an outsider.



I also finished my time as a Waitress for the Old Bell today, as I've got a new job with an immediate start! The morale at the Bell is pretty low actually staff-wise. Everyone seems to be leaving, or unhappy there. I'm glad to be out of there, but I did learn alot about restuarant work and meet alot of interesting people. Things just started to get a bit tense and stressful, and for a minimum wage job there has to be an element of fun to it!

However, the locals are diamond. It is also, of course where I meant new BFF Niki & The Best Microwave, Fake Chef in the world- Philip.



I'm very excited about this new job, just because I like working- I like being part of the real world, earning my own money and actually getting through interviews without being looked after. Gives you a real sense of independance and a sense of pride. However, the real world also means really paying back my debt of 1000 to my parents. So maybe me and the real world don't really get on. New job is in Wokingham, so not far and in Telesales, so we'll see how Karma pays me back for all the phone calls I've slammed down before... Actually, I tell a lie. I always sit on the phone listening intently to offers that are not meant for me as I'm not the house-owner, because I seem not to own the ability to stand up for myself- or in this case simply tell someone I'm not interested. I'm working on it.

I just saw a new advert for Aero. It's better than that one with that guy holding the chocolate bar talking about bubbles or something. Sent to entice women... it ridicules the whole concept behind chocolate. Chocolate is there when all else lets you down, to release those little endorphins and get everybody riding that high of life again. Particularly when men let you down. Chocolate is rich, dark and always reliable. How many men can say the same? So why let a man hold the chocolate bar? You do not need a man to entice you to eat chocolate, you need a lack thereof.

Anyway, some of us have an exciting life of bothering clients in the personal time to look forward to, so ciao!

Megs x