A quick overview...

So I've just remembered I have a blog. To be honest, the whole `blogging` and `tweeting` concept seems a bit strange to me. All I ever have to report is my ability to talk about and consume food on a regular basis... which I think is why my occasional tweets about wotsits aren't that well recieved.

So here I am at university.

Three mobile telesales has come and gone- with alot of drama in it's wake and now I'm approaching christmas time in Sheffield!

So how has University gone? Well I've never felt more at home. My flatmates are incredible and I felt like I've known them forever, both the boys and the girls... so as a result we've paid down our deposit on a house for nine of us next year with the other girls (fingers crossed) living close by.

Going out has drained my bank balance and I've lost my ability to sit and study... but I can't help and be nothing but chilled out! Yes, I've been momentarily stressed here and there, but not often.

One of these stresses being that I went back out with S when working for 3, which was in retrospect a bad decision and we have inevitably split come university. But I'm okay with that. My Scottish Ellen bought me some Icecream to help me mourn, and I discovered that when I want, I can be pretty good at not let things bring me down.

S was not the boyfriend I have always wanted, just one to fill the time. We used to have a spark between us that gave us the ability to talk for hours and just give each other everything we had. But we lost that a long time ago. Returning to him, was returning to something that was comfortable and easy- where I didn't have to worry about being single, and lonely.

I can see now, that you should never have to put up for something that is less than amazing. People consistently critisise younger people and their relationships because alot of the issues and arguments seem trivial and pointless, and older, wiser people offer their expertise at regular intervals- always assuring that when you are `older` things will be that much more simple.

Yet every second I am living is as important as the next. So why shouldn't you be the happiest you can be with somebody? Why do you have to dismiss a relationship as unimportant because you are 19 as opposed to 29? You are still spending your life with somebody.

As such, I met A a few weeks later, and although it took me a couple of days to realise... I felt just this feeling of happiness. I literally am so happy. I can't explain it any other way. I just knew, within a week that this was somebody I definitely loved. I can't fault it. I don't want to go through his phone, or facebook, or ask about who he's friends with or going out with... why would I? I just know I can trust him and that's good enough for me. Already I'm worrying about the inevitable arguments, but why?!

I worry because everyone bar B has cheated in some way and that can really make you step back and look at what you are doing wrong. When someone cheats... it destroys a little part of your confidence and trust in other people. And that's so hard to build back up.

I'm not saying A would never cheat because maybe he will, but I know that right now, I trust him and I am... despite the very biggest sarcastic critic in side of me... happily in love. Which, I will not admit to anybody I don't think!

Anyway, I've summed life up in a very short way, but that's what happens when you leave things for so long!

Since I last posted, my last Grandad died. It's hard to accept that, and it's probably the saddest thing I've ever had happen. To be perfectly honest, I feel I am completely responsible and that there was so much I could've done to stop him dieing. My whole family was away, and I was the only one around to go and see him at first. He was fine to go on the first day, and then he got worse and wasn't eating... I just guess it's hard to accept he was shutting down when he seemed so alive. Reliving it wont help, but I feel sorry every day for not having had done more. At his funeral, I was just consumed by guilt. He was the sweetest, funniest old man you could ever to have wished to have met, and to have him over for christmas would just complete everything. But, this is life, and I am just thankful he was ever here to give us as many good times and laughs as he could. Very strange to think I have no grandparents left now though!

A few other things:
- I have my nose pierced. I am very aware of it still when considering older people, so can't wait to get a smaller more discrete stud.
- My vows of being tidier and more organised are not going as planned... but I guess I will just accept that this is me, I'm never going to be like my flatmate Caroline, and you just have to love yourself the way you are!
- Me and S don't even speak anymore. This is sad, because I wish we had the ability to just be friends. I'm happy he's happy, but I wish he would sort his life out and quit drugs and actually work towards the police- and it's sad that I don't think that's ever going to happen.
- Christmas is coming up and I am firmly in my overdraft! Still, if you can't get overdrawn at christmas- when can you? It truly is my favourite season.
- I can't wait to see all my friends back for christmas, and my family definitely! But I will miss F2 so much it's untrue, how will we cope for so long? I care so much for all of them and I hate being away. Sad, but true!
- Journalism is going well... shorthand, not so much, but we're getting there slowly. It's great to have my flatmate Sarah in all of my modules, the little cutiepie, and we are getting there bit by bit! I think we have a nice balance going on at the moment, even if it's not entirely work- orientated!
- Finally getting to grips with a bit of current affairs. So I'm never going to be hot to trot on politics, but something out there will work for me!

So I've blogged!

Love, Megs. x x x